i am out with lanterns, looking for myself.

Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back.

- Eve Ensler

this is why i write. why i chase rainbows and ocean sounds and new air. why i make a wish on birthday candles and every time i catch 11:11, and why i cannot stay still for very long. it is why i don’t want to settle, why i don’t like being unhappy in situations. why i hate feeling out of control. why i want to feel bare feet on the ground. 

i am out with lanterns, looking for myself*. and sometimes i feel like i find it in the in between moments, in the insignificant moments between scene changes. i find myself in the silence that i chase, in the new air. 

i want to be less afraid of the seemingly stupid path. i want to be less afraid of cliffs. i want to believe in big magic, in a universe that catches the brave. i want to stop being afraid of not coming back. 

*a quote by emily dickinson